How to Stay in Love: Practical Wisdom from an Unexpected Source (Paperback)
Hard-hitting divorce lawyer James J. Sexton shares his insights and wisdom to help you reverse-engineer a healthy, fulfilling romantic relationship with How to Stay in Love.
With two decades on the front lines of divorce Sexton has seen what makes formerly happy couples fall out of love and “lose the plot” of the story they were writing together. Now he reveals all of the “what-not-to-dos” for couples who want to build—and consistently work to preserve—a lasting, loving relationship. Sexton tells the unvarnished truth about love and marriage, diving straight into the most common issues that often arise from simple communication problems and relationships that develop by “default” instead of design.
Though he deals constantly with the heartbreak of others, he still believes in romance and the transformative power of love. This book is his opportunity to use what he has learned from the mistakes of his clients to help individuals and couples find and preserve lasting connection.
Previously published as If You're In My Office, It's Already Too Late.
James J. Sexton is a trial lawyer with two decades of experience negotiating and litigating high-conflict divorces. He wakes up every day at 4 a.m. to return emails and plot his next moves in the chess match of matrimonial law, while somehow still maintaining faith in humanity and love. In his limited free time, he trains and competes in mixed martial arts and Brazilian jiu-jitsu. He lives in Manhattan.
James is the author of If You're In My Office, It's Already Too Late.
"Who would have guessed that the person who gives the best advice about marriage was the guy responsible for getting you out of yours?" —Judith Newman, The New York Times Book Review
“I love it. Who better than a divorce lawyer to help a couple figure out how to keep it together?” —Andy Cohen, host of BRAVO’s Watch What Happens Live
“Nobody knows the dark side of marriage like a divorce lawyer, and James Sexton is a good one. In this engaging, wry, and illuminating book, Sexton shares his legal war stories and dispenses some no-nonsense relationship advice for anybody thinking about getting married or hoping to stay that way. It’s an entertaining dose of tough love from a man who knows what he’s talking about.” —Tom Perrotta, author of Little Children and Mrs. Fletcher
“Divorce is common, obviously, but how many people make the logical projection that seeds of thousands of future divorces are being planted and nurtured right now? How many couples recognize themselves as the misery farmers? While there's still time to stop themselves? James J. Sexton has a useful vantage point, blunt advice and enough grisly stories to make self-help entertaining--unless, I suppose, the marriage he's describing is yours.” —Carolyn Hax, nationally syndicated advice columnist for The Washington Post
"Here are three things I did while I read this book: laughed, cringed, and scribbled a whole slew of notes in the margins. In How to Stay in Love, James Sexton delivers frank, no-holds-barred advice, gleaned from the front lines of divorce. The real trick, though, is how he does it with so much love. Despite its wonderfully grim title, this is a book teeming with hope." —Grant Ginder, author of The People We Hate at the Wedding
"Wryly written with plenty of candid wit and straightforward opinions... Sexton’s enthusiasm and affinity for marriage stories is evident throughout as he examines issues such as honesty, sex negotiations, infidelity, long-term relationship 'slippage,' and that stinging realization that 'what’s fun when you’re dating is a pain in the ass when you’re married'... Sage counsel to help readers better navigate the trajectories of their own relationships." —Kirkus Reviews
“James J. Sexton's book is a delightful surprise. Sexton is not offering the usual how-to-have-a-happy marriage book, but rather a how-not-to-divorce book…. Sexton doesn't judge. People fall in love then life interferes and marriages dissolve. ” —Newark Star Ledger